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I can't help but think of everything we have. It has been ten days today since you walked away, no goodbye, no explanation, nono nothing but the hurt and wreckage that you left. The amount of pain I feel is beyond words and at moments I feel like a fool.
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I can't believe this is happening, I thought I mattered. Why did you have to go? I am posting this to an open forum, to release these words from me so they can exist somewhere concrete, out in the Universe, instead of eating away at the corners of my mind and my heart.
I watch all the other people, on the streets, in the stores, going fat girls fuck from work, they are with whoever they're loving and living with, they are the lucky ones.
Every night that you are gone I wait for the to ring or the door to open, but nothing, silence fills the empty rooms, and again I have nothing to distract myself from your absence. You were my best friend. There were others before, but most of them served to help me situate and recognize your importance in my life. If I ever let myself get close Salek another, I fear they will know me only as I am now, and not as how I got.
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No fireworks when we kiss, no hugs and I love yous at night, no you just left without eeady single word. Now I am beautiful older ladies ready nsa Salem Oregon, I am sad, and I am afraid because I feel something inside of me has died.
I do not love, or laugh, or notice color. I hate the music we liked, I hate myself for not loving you. You did nothing wrong except maybe love me too much, too. Even that night when our hearts were so twisted up and we beautiful older ladies ready nsa Salem Oregon spitting words unrecognizable to each other, I never doubted we would spend a lifetime. Now I am faced with the fact that I won't find anyone else who loved me as you did.
And I am right. Because the kind of love I had with you, the one that remakes your soul into something better, and forces you to recognize and honor the humanity in another person, does not exist in.
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